What to Expect After Searching “Speed Dating Near Me” in 2022
When you’re looking for a partner, it’s smart to leave no stone unturned. You never know where you might meet that special someone, or where they might already be looking for you. That’s why so many people are searching for “speed dating near me” this year.
Though speed dating was invented over 2 decades ago, many single professionals today aren’t familiar with the process. The widespread popularity of dating apps is one of many reasons for this. But especially in major cities like San Francisco, speed dating is once again gaining traction.
If you’re considering looking for your next partner this way, it’s normal to feel somewhat overwhelmed. Even if you’re extremely familiar with online dating and dating apps, the unique format of speed dating can make it seem completely foreign.
We’ve compiled this speed dating guide to help ease some of the nerves and tension leading up to the big event. In just a few short minutes, you’ll know exactly what to expect from this experience in both the short-term and the long-term.
How It Works
The first speed dating event took place in 1998. It was hosted and coordinated by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo at Peet’s Coffee & Tea located in Beverly Hills. (1) At that very first event, attendees switched partners every 10 minutes. The idea has evolved in many ways since that night over 20 years ago.
In modern times, people now switch partners every 3 to 7 minutes, depending on who’s running the speed dating event. Many organizations exist solely to coordinate these events, and each one has its own hallmarks.
““The rabbi and his think tank decided that Jewish singles needed to identify marriage partners with maximum efficiency, and they designed a wacky game in which participants would table-hop their way through a dozen dates in a night.””
But across all of them, the core concept of speed dating remains the same. Men and women register in advance for the events, which can be in-person or virtual. You start seated across from a potential match and have a conversation for a set amount of time.
Once time runs out, the organizer rings a bell or blows a whistle to signify the end of each round. Everyone will rotate and you’ll meet another new person. Once every attendee has spoken with every potential match, you’re asked which people you’d like to see again.
If there’s a mutual agreement, you and the potential match will receive each other’s contact information to set up another date. Most events prohibit sharing contact information during speed dating to reduce pressure and avoid on-the-spot rejections.
In-Person Speed Dating
Today, in-person speed dating contains many elements of the original idea. You register in advance for an event at a set date, time, and location. The venue is most often a restaurant or bar, but more unique settings have become popular in recent years.
Once you arrive at the event, you’ll check in with the host running it. You’ll be given a scorecard where you can make notes after meeting each potential partner. After everyone has checked in and been seated, the host will kick things off. You’ll typically be given between 3 and 7 minutes to get to know your current match.
The host will give clear instructions on who rotates between tables versus who stays seated. Don’t worry about not knowing whether to stay at your table or change places. In-person speed dating events often have anywhere between 20 and 40 attendees depending on the venue, so you’ll get to meet a lot of new people.
Especially if you’re in a large metropolitan area like San Francisco, it’s smart to dress up a bit for your speed dating event. In the Bay Area, many attendees come straight from work without changing attire. This means lots of sharply dressed people, and you can only make a first impression once.
Meet New People from the Comfort of Your Home
When you search for “speed dating near me,” some of your results might be for online speed dating. Especially in recent years, virtual speed dating events have gained quite a bit of popularity. There are even several companies and platforms specializing in this niche.
With online or virtual speed dating, you get the best of two worlds. You can enjoy the safety of communicating from a device combined with the immediate nature of speed dating. This is a bit different from traditional online dating, where you might message a person for a while before meeting in person or getting on a video call.
Online speed dating replicates the format and pacing of the traditional version. A host will coordinate the night’s proceedings, ringing a bell whenever it’s time to rotate. But instead of sitting across from each match in a room, you’ll typically share a private chat room or video call.
Every provider of virtual speed dating has its own formula and specific systems in place. As you navigate your search results, check out the website for each platform. Evaluate the way each one functions versus the kind of experience you’d like to have and choose the best fit.
What is the Success Rate of Speed Dating?
According to a study from Stanford, the success rate of getting a second date from speed dating can be up to 32.5%. (2) That said, modern anecdotal evidence suggests a success rate of 4-6%. Keep in mind this data refers only to meeting someone you’d go on a “real” date with—not meeting a long-term partner.
Over the decades, studies have found that relationships started from speed dating are often weak. (3) During speed dating, people who choose to continue dating a match typically do so based purely on physical attraction.
Even in cases where people reported valuing intelligence over appearance, surveys revealed these people also found the match physically attractive. Matches who were not considered physically attractive were not considered for a second date, according to these surveys. (4)
““One reason for this could be that in speed dating you cannot really assess someone’s intelligence, earning potential, or sincerity. So [participants] end up putting a great deal of emphasis on physical appearance, an attribute that you can evaluate relatively easily.””
In short, the cornerstone of finding a partner from speed dating is physical appearance. We do agree that it’s important to be attracted to your partner. The thing is, choosing your partner based purely on physical attraction isn’t conducive to a successful long-term relationship.
Date the Very Best
Searching for “speed dating near me” is a great first step toward finding your next long-term partner, but speed dating isn’t the most effective path to this goal. Its relatively low success rate combined with how much time you have to invest makes speed dating a relatively inefficient use of your time.
If you’re in a phase of your life where you aren’t looking for anything serious, speed dating can be a fun way to spend an evening. But once you’re busy with a meaningful career and hobbies, you have to value your time differently.
That’s why high-end matchmaking is currently the best way to meet potential partners who are intellectual, kind, and curious like you. Here at Shannon’s Circle, our matchmaking services are upscale, discreet, and exclusive. With us, dating in San Francisco means meeting high-caliber and well-educated potential partners.
Best of all, every one of them wants to find a wonderful long-term match to share a rewarding life with. Shannon’s network includes successful entrepreneurs, CEOs, attorneys, venture capitalists, leaders, executives, and physicians located in the Bay Area.
You’ve worked hard to build the very best life for yourself. You deserve to date the very best, too. If you’re ready to join Shannon’s Circle and start a love story of your own, just click Get Started at the top of this page.
References:
1. The New York Times, Who Made Speed Dating?
https://www.nytimes.com/2013/09/29/magazine/who-made-speed-dating.html
2. Stanford, The Four-Minute Search for the Perfect Mate
https://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/four-minute-search-perfect-mate
3. PsyPost, Speed Dating Study Provides Real-World Insight Into What Men and Women Find Most Attractive
https://www.psypost.org/2020/07/speed-dating-study-provides-real-world-insight-into-what-men-and-women-find-most-attractive-57375
4. BBC News, Looks Paramount for Speed Dating
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7726950.stm